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Caregiver Checklist: What to Do When Your Parent Dies

This article provides guidance on the immediate and practical steps to take after a parent dies, including navigating the grieving process and checking for survivor benefits.
Published on
April 10, 2023
Presented by Givers
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When a family member has passed away,  it can be challenging to keep track of everything that needs to be done. You may have added responsibilities as a family caregiver after a parent passes. To help you through this period of grief and transition, use this checklist for family caregivers when dealing with the death of their loved one. And always remember to navigate the grieving process with support. 

Immediate steps after a parent dies

The immediate steps after a parent dies may feel overwhelming and emotionally challenging. The first step is to call emergency services or 911 to report the death. Then, you may need to contact other family members, friends, or loved ones to inform them of the death. You should also contact a funeral home to make arrangements for your parent's body, such as transportation, embalming, and burial or cremation services. A death certificate from the appropriate authorities is also necessary for settling your parent's affairs. You may need to notify organizations such as banks and insurance companies of the death. Finally, you must make arrangements for a funeral or memorial service, including choosing a venue, selecting a casket or urn, and arranging flowers or other decorations.

Notification of death

After taking immediate steps, you must notify various organizations of your parent's death, including banks, credit card companies, insurance providers, and the Social Security Administration (SSA). The SSA should be notified as soon as possible to ensure that survivor benefits are processed promptly. To tell the SSA, you can call or visit your local SSA office or contact them online through their website. You will need to provide a copy of your parent's death certificate, your parent's Social Security number, your own Social Security number, and any other relevant information.

Checking for death benefits or survivor benefits

After notifying the appropriate organizations, you may want to check if your parent had any death benefits or survivor benefits. These benefits may include life insurance policies, pensions, retirement accounts, or Social Security survivor benefits. You can review your parent's paperwork or contact their employer or insurance provider to check for life insurance policies or retirement accounts. For Social Security survivor benefits, you can get the SSA to determine if you or other family members are eligible. You will need to provide documentation of your parent's death and your relationship with the deceased. It's important to note that survivor benefits may be reduced if the person who passed had outstanding debt or if other family members are also eligible for benefits. Consulting with a financial advisor or attorney can help you determine the best course of action for claiming any benefits that may be available.

Next, practical steps after a parent dies

Once you have completed the immediate steps after your parent's death, you will want to focus on the next practical steps, which may include settling your parent's estate and affairs, such as closing bank accounts, canceling credit cards, and transferring property or assets. You may also need to settle any outstanding bills, including medical expenses or funeral costs. If your parent had a will, you would need to begin the process of probate, which involves verifying the will's validity and distributing the assets according to its terms. Finally, it's important to remember to take care of yourself during this time of grief and loss and seek support from family, friends, or a professional counselor if needed.

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Complete Checklist After the Death of a Parent

As the family caregiver, you should take some legal steps to protect your rights and ensure any assets or debts of your parent are correctly handled. These steps may include securing and protecting assets, paying off debts and final expenses, settling accounts with creditors, transferring property titles, and distributing money or possessions. It is essential to consult an attorney for more specific advice about your situation.

Discuss this checklist with family members and a trusted attorney or financial advisor. Review any items that need to be taken care of. Ask for help and support. Try to delegate what you can. For example, maybe a sibling can handle funeral arrangements while you deal with insurance claims and the death announcement. Find ways to parse out the different tasks in a practical, manageable way. 

How to use this checklist after the death of a parent

Print up this checklist. Review the items. You may need to add notes or extra items. Mark the items complete with a check in the first column. Under Column 3, "Delegated To," list the name of the person who will complete that task. 

The checklist has three parts. The first section under IMMEDIATE is items you should finish in the first few weeks of your parent's passing. Most deal with practical issues like setting up funeral arrangements, notifying family, or caring for pets. The following section involves LEGAL matters that need to be addressed once the funeral arrangements have been made, and some may be difficult o complete and need an attorney's aid. 

Finally, the last section involves self-care. While taking care of your parent's assets and legal issues is essential, your mental health is most important. Take the time to find a support group or grief counseling. Walking through grief with others will help you heal faster. 

A note from Givers

Losing a parent can be a deeply emotional and complicated experience, and taking time to process your feelings and grieve is essential. Grief affects everyone differently, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some people may feel overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or guilt, while others may feel a sense of relief or numbness. It's important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up for you and to seek support from loved ones, a support group, or a therapist. You may also find comfort in rituals or traditions, such as creating a memory book or visiting a special place that was meaningful to your parent. Don't forget to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually during this time by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Grief is a process that takes time, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this difficult journey.

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